Day 5 – Twelve Days of Kindness

Christmas 5

Accept

 “What goes around comes around”. Like most people, I receive posts on Facebook that are often pictures of animals. Being an animal lover, I revel in each one. One of my favorites, though, is an oldie but goodie. It is a picture of two dogs, German Shepherds, sitting side by side. Both dogs have a sign around their necks, respectively. The first sign states “Don’t let karma bite you in the rear.” The dog sitting beside that dog has a sign that reads “I am Karma”.

Today is New Year’s Eve. I think we all are united in hoping that 2022 ushers in a healthier time world-wide. Certainly we are all exhausted in learning the new variants of the Covid-19 virus mean business and that we need to realize that when it comes to virus germs, what goes around definitely comes around. Hopefully we will cease making this pandemic political and address it as the humanity crisis it has become.

The old idiom I quoted at the beginning of this – What goes around comes around – has a great deal of truth in it, both in nature as well as our treatment of each other. I first heard it as a definition of karma when doing a religious presentation to a group of first graders.  There was an overly-active young lad who was not prone to sitting still in the class.  On this day he kept jumping up and playing with non-playful objects in the room, things like the light switch or window blinds cord.  He suddenly stopped his actions, though, and looked directly at me when I asked if anyone knew the meaning of the word “karma”.  His response was quick and to the point: “What goes around comes around.”

Celtic culture described the areas of grass affected by a common fungus as fairy rings. These circular spots of grass contained grasses that grew a deeper green and were often thicker than the other areas of grass. It was believed that the fairies made them and that they were a sign of good luck. Depending on the mythology and the culture, fairy rings were thought to be made by fairies dancing, perhaps used when illustrated by mushrooms growing as dinner tables with the fairies eating off the mushrooms, or as places for spirits to gather and sometimes be free to release their powers within the circle.

Mushrooms are associated with fairy rings and not just because eating certain ones can produce hallucinations that might make one believe he/she really had seen fairies dancing. A common sign of a fairy ring is a necrotic zone, an area in which the grass and other plant life has died. Fungi associated with mushrooms, mushrooms themselves being a fungus, deplete the soil of nutrients and the plants growing within the circle often die. Similarly the area adjacent to such fungus can grow thicker and deeper in color.

There is also evidence that rabbits are an important part in the life cycle of some fairy rings. Rabbits eat grass, cropping it very short while their waste products contain nitrogen-rich droppings. Mushrooms need more soil nitrogen than grass does and a fairy ring can be started from a single fungus spore. Subsequent generations of the original spore will grow outward seeking more nutrients since the parent fungus would have used up all in the immediate area. Rabbits eat only the grass and not the mushrooms so the mushrooms soon grow taller than the grass which the rabbits keep low. This can create rings inside of rings.

It is said to be bad luck to enter a fairy ring and even worse luck to destroy or disturb one. Superstitions abound in almost every culture based upon such novelties of nature. From the thirteenth century writer Raoul de Houdenc to the modern-day romance writer Nora Roberts, fairy rings have played a prominent role in the literature of the world. They are also found as subjects of art and were a favorite of Victorian art.

The roundness of fairy rings is repeated in the Native American Indian culture in the form of medicine wheels. These stone man-made circles were thought to harness the healing power of nature and used to benefit man/woman. Also known as “sacred hoops”, medicine wheels were found in areas of different tribes and are one of the common aspects found throughout the tribes of all such peoples within North America. Alberta, Canada hosts at least seventy medicine wheels that survive today.

Archaeologist John Brumley notes that a medicine wheel consists of at least two of the following three traits: (1) a central stone cairn, (2) one or more concentric stone circles, and/or (3) two or more stone lines radiating outward from a central point. The lines of stones radiating outward from the center appear as spokes in the directions of east, west, north, and south.

The medicine wheel was not a set pattern, though. The number of spokes differed from wheel to wheel and some spokes were not evenly spaced out in the design. One of the oldest remaining wheels dates back over forty-five hundred years. Some are aligned astronomically with the horizon and others reflect the position of the sun on the four seasonal equinoxes. How their power was utilized is a subject of much debate but it is clear that they held power and served purpose of healing and living.

While many fairy rings are found throughout Europe and the medicine wheels of the North American aboriginal people known as American Indians seem to be found only on the two American continents, there are other such rings. The landscape of Africa also hosts fairy rings. The explanations for them in Europe, particularly in Great Britain and Ireland seem to lose validity when comparing that topography to the land of Africa.

Often described as a “thousand blinking eyes in the desert”, the fairy rings of Namibia are considered one of the world’s great natural mysteries. In a place called “The Land God Made in Anger’, the Namibian circle number in the millions although such circles are also found where the grassland transition to desert, from Angola to the Cape province of South Africa. The Namib Desert is a remote and harsh environment. Reasons for the circle abound but, just as plentifully, they are found without backing. Biologist Walter Tschinkel was certain the circle were the work of termites. “They are really neat places, these little clean patches. They are like little satellite dishes. I looked at them and thought ‘this has to be termites,” Tschinkel remarked. “It is the sort of things termites do.” However, his theory proved false and while others still believe in the sand termite as the cause, that theory also fails to justify all aspects of the circles.

More recently a scientist took a holistic approach. Many theories have focused on the underground gasses believed to be affecting the soil and grass formation. Folklore of the region mentions underground dragons whose breath created the circles. Stephan Getzin, an ecologist from the Helmholtz Centre for Environmental Research, in Leipzig, Germany decided to consider all theories but from a different perspective – a bird’s eye view. He took to the air to examine the Namibian circles and discovered something very interesting. The circles not only appeared as eyes in the desert, dancing across the landscape, they were evenly spaced and had an organization to them. His findings have revealed only that there is still we do not know and that all previous theories might have some validity although none would be the entire story. “I’m sure this is not the end of the story,” summarized Getzin.

These circles, these evidences of unknown karma upon the environment, whether natural or man-made, are excellent examples of the sacred in our own lives. Sometimes it is what we do to ourselves and sometimes we are simply the victims of another’s behavior or choices. The fact is that we can learn and heal from everything.  Life is a series of lessons, a process of acceptance.   Not all of life’s lessons are pleasant or invited.  Healing occurs when we learn. What we choose to eat and drink affects our living and how we live has just as important an affect.  Selecting to live graciously with respect to all gives us a greater chance of being treated the same. Even when we are not, we can find the lesson and move on to greater things.

My readers for this blog come from forty-three countries world-wide.  Those of you who have taken the time to comment have taught me and I accept those lessons with gratitude and joy.  Life is not for the faint-hearted.  Life takes courage and is seldom “easy”.  Your acceptance of these posts has been a blessing and I thank each of you.  My efforts in writing this blog have been rewarded by your reading it.  Some might say that is a type of karma.

Eventually, goodness will go around the world and encompass it and us.  The best karma will be found in the acceptance we give one another.  Today’s world is often a world of one of name-calling and inciting terror.  Sharing kindness by allowing people to be, accepting them for their differences rather than in spite of them, opens a door for a better tomorrow and a brighter, safer future for everyone.  May be t greatest lesson is that the sacred part of karma is in learning from the painful and spreading joyful kindness to all.

Day 5 – Twelve Days of Kindness

Christmas – 5

Envision

“What if you were wrong? What if everything you ever believed was a lie? What if you missed your opportunity because you didn’t know your worth?” Shannon Adler asks.  “What if you settled on familiar, but God was trying to give you something better? What if you decided not to go backwards, but forward? What if doing what you have never done before was the answer to everything that didn’t make sense? What if the answer wasn’t to be found in words, but in action? What if you found the courage to do what you really wanted to do and doing it changed your whole life?”

James Joyce needed a word to describe someone knocking on a door.  As a writer, he understood the importance of descriptive phrases but he wanted something more than “He knocked on the door.”  He wanted to illustrate the sound but could find nothing he deemed satisfactory.  He sat back and envisioned the scene in his head and came up with the longest palindrome in the English language – TATTARRATTAT!

A palindrome is a word that reads exactly the same front to back and back to front.  From the Greek word “palindromos”, it literally means running back again.  How often are our lives like that?  Running back again over the same mistakes, never seeming to get anywhere, never realizing unspoken and fuzzy dreams?

In 2002 Peter Norvig, with the aid of a computer, wrote the world’s longest palindrome sentence.  It contained fifteen thousand, three hundred and nineteen words from sixty-three thousand, six hundred and forty-seven letters.  It began “A man, a plan, a caddy…” which sounds like the start of a great story.  In fact, one might think he’d borrowed it from Brian Doyle Murray who wrote the movie “Caddyshack”. 

Norvig’s palindrome sentence, though, did not make much sense.  He describes it: It contains truths, but it does not have a plot. It has Putnam, but no logic; Tesla, but no electricity; Pareto, but no optimality; Ebert, but no thumbs up. It has an ensemble cast including Tim Allen, Ed Harris and Al Pacino, but they lack character development. It has Sinatra and Pink, but it doesn’t sing. It has Monet and Goya, but no artistry. It has Slovak, Inuit, Creek, and Italian, but it’s all Greek to me. It has exotic locations like Bali, Maui, Uranus, and Canada, but it jumps around needlessly. It has Occam, but it is the antithesis of his maxim “Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem.“   If you tried to read the whole thing, you’d get to “a yawn” and stop.

Sometimes we go through life with that same yawn and then while we may not literally stop, we really do spiritually in our soul.  We stop dreaming and we stop believing in others.  We assume we know what is what and who is …whatever.  Today there will be pundits and politicians and cult leaders verbalizing words which will not be based upon envisioning but rather based upon fear and greed.  We will approach others using those same views, kindness becoming lost in the process, turned into cruelty which overtakes our humanity.

Norvig described his palindrome sentence by making a reference to a principle developed by English logician and Franciscan monk William Occam.  Known as Occam’s razor, the Latin phrase translates as “entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity” or “plurality should not be posited without necessity.”

There are times when we need to see the details, observe the minute differences but those times are few and not usually present in the superficial traveling of our lives.  As we approach someone to give the wave of greeting or share a smile, we need only to see the overall body.  We are not going to spend the rest of our lives with this person we are passing.  We are simply sharing the gift of kindness by envisioning their being as a living creature.

My challenge to you today is to dare to dream of the goodness of those with whom you share your city or state.  Don’t multiply the differences beyond what is necessary.  Simply see them as the human beings they are. 

Anthony Liccione explains how such behavior can lead us to improving our own lives as he describes another palindrome.  ““Level, is spelled the same forward and backwards. Those on the upper level can always hit the bottom, and those on the bottom can always rank to the top. Envision your footprints up there already trailing, and your feet will soon follow suit.”

Envision a better world!  Change doesn’t happen overnight but it starts with a single envisioned goal.  Dare to envision a better world and better you.  See the possibilities in the person you pass, not the differences.  Envision victory and it will happen!

Day 4 – Twelve Days of Kindness

Christmas 4

Clemency

“Hakuna Matata…It’s a wonderful phrase!  Hakuna Matata; ain’t a passing craze!”  If you have ever seen the movie “The Lion King”, just hearing those opening lines of one of the more popular songs has you already singing the rest of it.  “It means no worries for the rest of your days.  It’s our problem-free philosophy…”  The 1994 movie was not the first time the Swahili phrase was used in a song, however.

A Kenyan band used the phrase in the chorus of their hit “Jambo Bwana” and several years later a German band released an English-language song entitled “Jambo – Hakuna Matata”.  It was “The Lion King” that made it a household familiar saying which is really quite interesting since it is seldom used by native speakers of Swahili.  They prefer to either say “hamna shida” or “hamna tabu”.  The song from “The Lion King” is so popular that a Hebrew version exists online.  Everyone likes the thought of “no worries” as a way to live, it would seem.

Considered an unofficial motto of the country of Australia, “no worries” is a phrase that seems to speak to the supposedly relaxed nature of Australians.  Usage of the phrase goes back only about fifty years but the relaxed carefree and easy going, quick to forgive Aussie reputation dates to much earlier times.  Many feel it also characterizes the casual optimism which seems to permeate the Australian culture.

Dr Richard M. Jacobs of Villanova University feels there is quite a bit of difference between a sermon and a homily.  The sermon, he writes, is in “the form of a lecture or discourse given for the purpose of providing religious instruction or inculcating moral behavior.”  One would seldom expect to hear the phrase “no worries” or “hakuna matata” in a sermon.

Dr. Jacobs characterizes a homily very differently.  “In general, a homily is a scripturally-based reflection [which] provides food for thought about the challenges of living in today’s busy and hectic world.   Ideally, the material conveyed by a Sunday homily addresses the real daily lives of ordinary people.”  While a homily might mention “no worries”, it is also doubtful that “hakuna matata” would be encouraged.  The homily is designed to be a shorter format than a sermon and was made popular by St Peter Chrysologus, a bishop appointed in 433 ACE.  Known as the “Doctor of Homilies” for his short but inspired talks, he supposedly feared boring his audience. His piety and zeal won universal admiration.

This leads us to an interesting point and our word and gift for this, the fourth day of our twelve days of kindness.  Today’s gift is clemency, a word which has all but become forgotten in everyday living.  Nowadays, it is used only in the judicial system.  Originally, the word “clemency” was derived from the Latin “clementia” which meant gentleness, calmness, or mildness.  It goes even further back as a compound word made from the “Latin “clemens” which translates as calm or mild and “clinare” which translates as to lean. 

How often do we hear the phrase clemency is our daily instructions and spiritual teachings?  While most of us would admit to wanting an overall life philosophy of “no worries” and the ability to live “hakuna matata”, few would be able to cite examples of it in their beliefs.

Mercy is what most deities offer their believers.  It is what most believers are encouraged to share with others.  We are not created to be judge and jury for each person we encounter.  We are told to love and show mercy, to offer clemency to those who offend us.

My challenge to you today, on this the fourth day, is to show someone “hakuna matata”.  Perhaps it will be that person who cuts you off in traffic.  Instead of shaking your fist at them, wish them well.  That person who hurriedly sneaks in front of you in the line at the coffee shop or marketplace…smile and give them a “No worries” response.

It is not always easy.  As I write this I realize I need to let go of some anger and hurt caused by the words of another just the other day.  I need to simply say “hakuna matata” and move on with my living.  After all, hanging on to negative emotions doesn’t accomplish anything.  It doesn’t burn calories; it just deprives us of feeling good ourselves.

So live a casual optimism and focus on the positive.  Enjoy a carefree day with a problem-free philosophy.  As with other things, giving clemency to another will build our own character.  Gandhi described prayer as “a potent instrument of action”.  I think he would agree showing mercy and offering clemency is as well.  Lewis Carroll wrote:  “One of the secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others.”  Sharing clemency helps both others and ourselves.  “No worries, mate! G’day!”

Day 3 – Twelve Days of Kindness

Christmas 3

Acknowledge

What a difference two letters can make.  When it comes to kindness, those two letters make all the difference.  Knowledge is wisdom, intelligence, learned matter.  Knowledge is good but unless it is put to use, it really is little bit more than curiosity answered.  Add the letters to the word “knowledge”, and all of a sudden you have the easiest way in the world to show what you know.

By putting an “a” and a “c” before the word “knowledge’, we create a new word and a great way to show kindness.  The word “acknowledge” comes from fifteenth and sixteenth century words from both France and England, words that mean “recognize” or “understand” or “accord”.  Let’s start with the accord variation first.

All too often, particularly in the political world, it is felt that one must be in complete accord or agreement with someone in order to acknowledge them.  I hope that is not going to become the norm because it really is a very cowardly way to live.  We can acknowledge someone and understand that they are not us and do things different without undermining our own lives.  No one is exactly like you or me.  When we acknowledge that fact, then we are free to show kindness, especially to those who are different.  Their beliefs only threaten us when we live fearfully and without confidence in our own beliefs.

The understand facet of this word is similar in its application.  To acknowledge someone having a different opinion and fully grasping their opinion means we understand them.  It also is showing them great kindness because it is allowing them a dignity, much like what we referenced in our conversation yesterday about respect.

The easiest and most cost effective way of showing kindness to someone is to recognize them.  I don’t mean call them by name but treat them as if they have value. After all, we all have value in our own special way.  Regardless of which creation myth you believe, we are all wondrously made.  Recognize them and then follow up with behavior that reflects that recognition and you will be showing someone great kindness.  It can be as easy as a hand raised in greeting or a joyful “Hello!”

In 1865 the American Civil War, officially known as the War Between the States, was drawing to an end.  The states that had seceded were rejoining and the Colonies were once again a viable democracy.  In eleven years it would be the 100^th anniversary of the Revolutionary War in which thirteen colonies won their independence from England.  France had been involved with the colonies almost since their inception, sometimes as an ally and sometimes as an enemy.  However, for almost one hundred years, France had assisted the colonies.  It was because of this connection that historian Edouard De Laboulaye suggested France create a statue and give to the United States.  The commission for such was awarded to sculptor Frederic Auguste Bartholdi.  France would create and gift the sculpture to the U.S.A. and it would build the pedestal upon which the statue would stand, furthering acknowledging the partnership and friendship between the two nations. 

A need for fundraising delayed the start of the massive project until one year before the US/s centennial celebrations.  The finished statue was delivered and dedicated in October, 1886, ten years after the nation’s centennial.  The inscription, the winning sonnet in a fundraising contest of 1883, was penned by Emma Lazarus:  ““Give me your tired, your poor; Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free; The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.   Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.  I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

This inscription acknowledges each and every immigrant that passes through Ellis Island and serves as a welcome to the thousands of others that arrive in other ports across the country.  The Statue of Liberty, as the statue became known, operated as a lighthouse for almost fifty years, sending its beacon of light emanating from Lady Liberty’s torch out into the night, giving safe passage and welcoming all in acknowledgement of their presence.

My challenge for you this day is to wave hello to someone.  Acknowledge their presence.  Nothing complicated in that, is there?  And if you cannot raise your arm to wave then nod your head.  By doing so, you will be showing kindness to that other person, regardless of their station in life or bank account or position of authority.  Person to person, you will be welcoming them just as the Statue of Liberty has welcomed millions throughout the years.  Even in these times of face masks, we can still share a greeting and acknowledge one another.

Sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone is to recognize their existence.  We don’t have to want to emulate them or believe just as they do.  Acknowledgement simply means we recognize their presence.  To acknowledge someone is to show kindness of thought and presence and it costs us nothing to give.  Remember your challenge for this day is to simply wave a greeting to someone or nod your head in a friendly manner towards another person.  No one is truly invisible and when we acknowledge another, we are giving them value and worth.  It is a simple gift that will mean everything to someone.

Twelve Days of Kindness

Christmas 2

Respect

There are five days left in this year and, if you haven’t already been overrun with flashbacks, consider yourself lucky.  It is the time of the year when it seems like everyone and every media outlet are talking retrospectives – the best of the year in everything from fashion to electronics, music to toys, etc.

We seldom think about the concept of retrospection having anything to do with the word “respect”.    Its history or etymology dates back to the Latin “respectus” which translates as “looking back”.  The more modern definition dates back to the late sixteenth century.  It was probably the result of someone’s retrospection and consideration of another’s past behavior but somewhere around the late 1580’s, the word came to mean a feeling of regard or esteem based upon the actions or attributes of a person.

The term respect is a subject of great debate among philosophers and psychologists.  A driver respects the speed limit while also respecting his/her parents.  Surely one is not exactly the same as another.  Most agree that how we respect ourselves often determines the lives we lead and the choices we make. 

It is most important to have self-respect but it is also important to respect others.  The relationships we have in this world revolve around the respect we show others and how we live is based upon the respect we have for ourselves.  In other words, the kindness we live towards ourselves is mirrored in the kindness with which we treat others.  The person who dislikes him or herself will probably be equally as critical to those around them and being critical does not take one down a path populated with friends.

One of the first steps for respecting others and ourselves involves losing assumptions.  The past two years have taught us that we can survive without living “the norm”.  We have learned that we  can do things differently and still manage to value life.  When we let life teach us rather than assuming we have all the answers or know what another is thinking, then we open ourselves up to being free and create opportunities to learn.  Sometimes the greatest way to be kind is to let the person be uniquely themselves without insisting they conform to our own ideas or standards.

The lack of assumption usually leads to a heightened sense of dignity.  When we let people be themselves, we give that which they are dignity.  Feeling that you have both value and dignity is the foundation for a healthy self-esteem, both in us and in others.

When we show dignity to another we are also usually being fair.  Injustices occur every day based upon someone’s assumptions and more times than not, those assumptions are flawed and faulty.  Letting go of assumptions also means fairness will rule the day.  Take the time to treat everyone equally and meet out the same justice to all, regardless of their position, race, creed, financial status, etc.

Such fairness and dignity extended to all comes under the heading of good manners and correct etiquette.  The use of derogatory language is again based upon flawed and ignorant assumptions which lead to discrimination.  No one feels dignified or respected if they are the victim of discrimination. 

Consideration is also a part of good manners as is punctuality.  Sometimes we think our time schedule is the most important in the world.  Insisting others follow our schedule is permissible every now and then.  It is not respectful to make everyone dance to our own tune and nothing else.  Letting people explain themselves is also a great kindness.  When we listen to others, truly listen to them, we are giving them our attention, our time, and letting them know they are valued.    

You might have noticed that nothing I have mentioned as a way to show another person respect costs money.  To show kindness to someone by respecting them requires no financial outlay at all.  It is not only a gift of kindness that we share with others; it might just be the very best gift we can give ourselves.

Life coach Steve Maraboli explains it this way:  ““How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.”   Yesterday I challenged you to share a smile. 

Today’s challenge in this: the twelve days of kindness is to live two acts of kindness – one to another person and one to yourself.  It might be letting go of some guilt or simply being on time for a movie date.  Even in these Covid times, we can virtually watch a movie with friends or just have a movie date at home with a loved one.   Whatever it is, remember that respect is a two-way street.  It is a gift we give ourselves whenever we look back and give respect to another.

Twelve Days of Kindness

Christmas 1

Generosity

Ask someone about nobility and several answers will be commonly given – regal, majestic, rich, entitled (both actually possessing a title and feeling better than others).  Some might even go one step further and start describing coronations, rituals involving the nobility, or perhaps the acknowledgement given to those in the nobility with their titles, curtsies, and bows.

What you do not expect and will seldom hear are descriptions of the nobility standing shoulder to shoulder with the poor or outcast.  We picture large castles for the nobility, not simple lean-to huts.  We imagine the nobility wearing the finest and latest fashion designers and not the worn-out jeans or the homeless.

This Christmas I am indulging in the twelve days that fall between Dec 25^th and January 6^th.  Between mid-November and the second week in January there are roughly twenty-seven, 27, holidays celebrated worldwide.  For many, these next eight days mark Kwanza, a holiday time of community and family with no specific religious connotation or affiliation.  Kwanza is a great holiday, as are the other 27 but I would like to start a new one – the Twelve Days of Kindness.

Most of these twenty-seven holidays are not about self…well, not directly.  They reference our individual growth and personal peace by celebrating people, events, and beliefs that all speak to our connectedness.  If you are new to this blog, welcome.  If you are a seasoned reader, then thank you.  Your reading this connects us and strengthens the ties that truly unite us all.  Reading, though, does not get our living done.

We all believe in something.  Just believing does us nothing, though.  We have to put that belief in action and every good belief involves at least one other person.  Last night people worldwide celebrated the birth of the man known as Jesus of Nazareth.  Regardless of what you believe. Chances are you saw a celebration, went to a party, gave or received gifts.  Christmas is pretty hard to escape.

Historically and archaeologically, there is more evidence of this man’s existence than evidence he did not live.  For many it is unrealistic to think the baby that people would believe was the son of the Creator would be born in such a humble manner.  The “King of Kings” as this baby would grow up to be called would have needed a noble birth.

It was somewhere during the 1580’s that the English would nobility became spoken.  An anglicized form of the French “généreux” (14c.), which is derived from the Latin “generosus”, the word generous translates as “noble birth.”   Thus a generous person was someone born into the nobility.  Surprised? 

Today the word generous is an adjective but it doesn’t just mean someone who gives to others.  It literally means someone who gives to others without expecting anything in return.  Nothing.  Nada.  Nil.  Zero.  So when we give to a charity or drop some coins into a bell-ringers bucket, we should get nothing in return, not even a sense of “well done, self!” 

I confess that when I help others I help myself.  Usually I am not really thinking about that but, in retrospect, I realize that I have probably given twice as much as I have given.  I was taught the habit of generosity through seeing such in the actions of my parents and others.  For some, their giving was more about making themselves feel good, however.  They really gave very little thought to those who would receive their giving.  Many of us are like that.

When I was nine years old, a dear family friend gave me a most unusual Christmas present.  She gifted me the sponsorship of an orphan on the other side of the globe.  She paid the monthly sponsorship fee but it was my name on the paperwork and I was the one who received the monthly updates on the boy who lived in deplorable conditions due to the political nature of his home country.  While others were playing with roller skates, I was reading about how the sponsorship fee had helped dig a well so the village could have safe water to drink and for other uses.

The next year this friend continued the sponsorship and it was with tears in my eyes that I heard my parents complain to her.  The three adults agreed that this would be the last year of the sponsorship and, true to her promise, the next year the friend gave me a book.  I still have that book but I also still have the spirit of awareness that was the real gift those two years.  Her gift made me realize the nobility of each birth, the awareness of not only how lucky I was in my own life but how similar that child was to me.  She gave me the gift of connectedness to my spirit within and the world around me.

Oscar Wilde once wrote “The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.”  I am blessed with friends who follow through on their beliefs by giving to others.  There is always a need, nonetheless, for us to do more.  There are times in which we think we cannot give anything else.  Maybe our own lives are in chaos; maybe we are the ones in need.  We all have something to offer, though, and in that offering, we often find something greater, something we might not have known we needed.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”  Leo Buscaglia was speaking about doing for others but it works for us as well. And so, on these twelve days, I ask that you not only read but act.  I ask that you spread a little kindness each day, living out one aspect of kindness.

 I challenge you today to smile at a stranger.  It will cost you nothing and if you wear a head covering, then live that smile – let someone go in front of you through the door or marketplace walkway.  Live the nobility of your own birth and presence by being generous. 

Perhaps you have some old clothing that you could pass on to someone in need.  Maybe you could advocate for animals or donate an extra box of rice or bag of beans to a food pantry in your area.  These are all great acts of generosity, our characteristic for today, and are very needed.  However, my challenge for you costs nothing – simply share a smile with a stranger.  If you can do more, then please do so.  First, simply share a smile.

Regardless of who we are or where we live, we are connected.  We share a planet.  We share basic characteristics of being human.  Hopefully, in these twelve days we will share kindness.  This is not a new idea.  The Roman Seneca once said “Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”  In this the 21^st century, we might have lost sight of that just a little.  We seem more interested in what separates us then it the ties that unite us. 

Much is spoken and wars carried out because of those difference.  There is no real number for the varieties of religions that are practiced on the planet today; the numbers keep changing as religions are overtaken by extremists.  The 14^th Dalai Lama, the man known as Tenzin Gyatso once wrote:  “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”  Regardless of what you call your religion, today I hope you share a smile.  Trust me, you will get at least one in return.

A Time to Rejoice or Mourn

A Time to Rejoice or Mourn

Advent – 2021.12.12

Today marks the third week of Advent.  This Sunday is known as “Gaudete” and is symbolized with a pink candle and often the wearing of pink vestments.  It is also the beginning of our week discussing grace from the subjective approach.  We have been talking about prayer and hope but I think grace and joy must be a part of that discussion.  We often pray for intercession because we are mourning but we also pray to express thanksgivings.  During this penitential season it may seem contradictory to have a time for rejoicing but really, the two are very connected.  Gaudete means rejoice so Gaudete Sunday is a time for rejoicing while we are being introspective and penitent.

Subjective probability is an individual person’s measure of belief that an event will occur.  Most of us believe in the eventuality of our own death and the death of every other person living.  Death is the natural order of things begun with our birth.  It is the belief of what happens after our physical bodies cease their function that separates people into groups.

The third Sunday in Advent signifies that we are but fourteen days away from the celebration of Christmas and the commemoration of the birth of the man known as Jesus of Nazareth.  It is this event for which the rejoicing of the day speaks.  It was also the beginning of a corporal life, a life which would end with its demise.

Without sounding trite, there really are two sides to every coin.  A famous hymn written for this day speaks of this.  “The time of grace has come, what we have wished for… Where the light is raised, salvation is found…. Therefore let our preaching now sing in brightness.”  The hymn these words are taken from is titled quite simply, “Gaudete”.  It was published in a collection of Finnish and Swedish tunes in 1582 in a collection known as “Piae Cantiones” although it is believed to have been a chant used at least one hundred years earlier. 

The structure of the hymn is simple and reflects most of the period.  A four line stanza composed the verse with a two line stanza being the chorus.  Today the chorus of a song is the part everyone knows and generally sings the loudest.  In the sixteenth century, though, such a two line stanza was known as the burden because it carried the song from verse to verse.  The difference between “chorus” and “burden” would be…you guessed it, subjective, in our modern times.

Generally about now, parents are running out of patience and time for holiday gatherings and chores while children seem to pull energy out of thin air.  One does not have to believe in the meaning behind Christmas to feel the effects of the season.  As winter sets in, people are taking every chance they can to complete outside chores and get ready for that “long winter’s nap” known as “too cold to be outside” weather.  While lights adorn buildings and houses twinkling with glee, tempers become frayed and money woes abound.  There seems to never be enough time, money, or grace.

One of the more common aspects of Advent is the lighting of a candle each week.  The Advent wreath is known worldwide with each candle symbolic of the week it heralds.  The third Sunday candle for the Advent wreath is pink usually but it not only is symbolic of the joy that believers feel is coming, but also grace.  Halfway through the third week of Advent, the accompanying readings change their tune and become the biography of the baby for whose birth the season culminates.

In selecting the themes for this blog, having decided to organize my posts by using a liturgical calendar, I tend to be a little bit tongue-in-cheek about things.  During Epiphany one year, Epiphany being the liturgical season which speaks of the recognition by nonbelievers and those not of the same culture of the true purpose of the man known as Jesus of Nazareth, I wrote about the epiphanies men and women had.  These epiphanies led to some very common and amazing inventions.  Another Advent, the first or beginning season, I wrote about creation stories.  This year, though, I went to the very heart of Advent for my theme.

Advent is known as the time to prepare and it is fitting since it falls at a time of year when the season are changing.  Depending on which hemisphere you are in, you might be preparing for summer or for winter.  Regardless, change is coming and we need to prepare.  Once we have prepared, though, what comes next?  After you get up and get ready each day what needs to happen once you are at your destination – whether it be the kitchen counter in your own home or the office?

The answer to that is the true meaning of Advent.  It is not just the coming – the coming of a new day or the coming of a Messiah – of which Advent bespeaks.  Advent is about grace, grace received and grace shared.   We do not all perceive nor share that grace the same, however.  For some an incident is a time for rejoicing and for others, a period of mourning.

Subjective refers to personal perspectives, feelings, or opinions entering the decision making process.  It is easiest to understand this approach if we use an example of investing in stock.  Let’s say your best friend owns a company and you want to invest in it because you like your friend.  Objectively, though, the company is not performing very well. 

Investors that are successful make their decisions based on hard analysis of the facts. They select a stock option with the best return for their money or that best meets their objectives. When making investing decisions it’s always important to make sure you think about and consider whether you are letting subjective thoughts work their way into the process.

Should we use that same approach when investing in people, when we engage in a relationship with others?  The empirical approach to grace is based upon observation while the classical was based upon known theory.  For instance, if someone slapped another with a glove in the sixteenth century, it was considered an invitation to a duel.  Using a classical response, the two would meet at a specific time and place and with chosen weapons.  Using an empirical response, the person slapped would select said weapons based upon his opponent’s skill with the options.  A subjective approach might consider the reasons for the slapping and one’s basic instinctive feeling about the sincerity of the fight.  After all, a perceived insult might just be a matter of misunderstanding.  This is where grace would be of great help.

History is full of pages and pages of interactions without grace evident at all to the observer.  To those participating, it might be all about grace, grace and respect.  This week I hope you take a moment to truly approach your situation and find the grace in it, not just for yourself but for everyone involved. 

It is easy to get angry and to mourn.  It takes courage to find the joy and rejoice. Advent is about grace, grace received and grace shared.    It is a season of believing.  Faith and generosity overcome impossibility.  Poverty and persecution reveal glory.  Forgiveness is an indication of the grace we extend to others, a grace that many of us believe has been extended to us.

I hope today you find reason to rejoice.  I also hope you find a way to extend grace to others.  Perhaps it is by contributing to a charity or extending a helping hand.  Maybe it is as simple as being quiet.  Remember, the season of Advent is about grace, grace received and grace shared.

Praying on the Corner

Praying on the Corner

Advent – 2021.12.11.

Someone asked me about the people who “pray on the street corner”.  You know what they are talking about.  In large cities all over, people set up a mini pulpit of sorts.  Their congregation is anyone who passes by.  The other night I heard someone describe the experience of walking past such a corner.  “They stand there screaming “Repent!”  I end up feeling guilty and I am not ever really sure why!”

Some would call this a type of prayer, this evangelical display.  Others simply call it annoying and a few might even go as far as calling it “crazy”.  The new Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church feels we need more “crazy Christians” but I am not certain standing on a street corner and shouting out scripture and what happens to sinners is what he means. 

I really don’t know if these street preachers accomplish much but they definitely are not afraid to let others know what they believe and I commend them for that.  I also don’t know if what they are doing really falls under the category of prayer.  Most of these faith peddlers consider themselves to be Christian so let’s use their religion to describe their actions.

Many Christians use the following acrostic when praying: A.C.T.S.  Each letter represents on of the four elements of prayer.  “A” is for adoration; “C” stands for confession.  Many prayers begin with a description of the deity being addressed, an adoration that recognizes the deity’s place and role in our lives.  The confession part we all understand albeit many of us seldom confess what or all we should.  “T” represents thanksgiving while “S” is for supplication.  These latter two are self-explanatory with thanks often given less than confessions.  Most humans are very good at prayers of supplication, prayers that ask for something.

There are those theologians who believe the A.C.T.S. acrostic also illustrates the priority one should give each facet of prayer.  This is often a characteristic of a denominational belief.  I find it interesting although I am not certain I agree with those theologians.  Certainly there are more prayers of supplication than elements of adoration and thanksgiving.  Usually one’s prayer life is more along the lines of S.C.A.T. or S.A.C.  Regretfully, the old adage “No news is good news” is how many thank their deity – No prayer means all is good.  I really think that is missing the point of prayer.

Many have pointed out that the Lord’s Prayer, the prayer supposedly given by the man known as Jesus of Nazareth who Christians believe to be the son of God, contains no thanksgiving.  The “hallowed by thy name” is an adoration.  “Forgive us our sins” is certainly a confession and there are supplications – “Give us this day our daily bread; Thy will be done on earth.”  Perhaps the second part of the confession is a type of thanksgiving, “as we forgive those” but I really doubt it.  Perhaps the acrostic is a bit incomplete and thanksgiving is something to live, illustrated instead of prayed.  Truthfully, the fact that we have a deity to be pray to should be reason enough for giving thanks.

But what about those street corner praying faith peddlers?  We all are corner prayers.  We come to a crossroads and what do we do?  We pray.  Life requires us to make choices and as we stand between two or more things trying to decide, we pray.  Hopefully we aren’t judging others as they pass, screaming “Repent!” but we do stand on the corner of life and buy our actions, peddle our faith. 

Life is not for the weak or spineless.  It takes courage and deliberate action to live a faith-filled life.  Being connected is something uncomfortable; it makes our lives busy and, at times, non-complacent.  We pray for many reasons but in most of them, it is because we are standing at the corner of life. 

If you find yourself in a large city, on a corner needing to cross the street, you have to not only look at any traffic signals but also listen for traffic and look to see if any vehicles are coming.  Prayer is not a monologue.  We need to listen and act.  We have to engage and then follow through, crossing the street and continuing our path in life.  No matter who we are, praying on the corner as we stand on the crossroads of everyday life is a great way to avoid traffic and carry on down the road we call living.

The Value of Reading

Advent – Extra

Recently a well-respected writer posted a complaint. She had just met a woman who was happily showing off her recent book. The stranger concluded by saying “Books are free at the library!”

The author felt the woman’s comment about free books negated the hundreds of hours that authors put into their books. I advised that maybe she did not know this woman’s complete story. After all, they had just met. I suggested her perspective might not be the woman’s. We should not judge a book by its cover, nor people by a few sentences.

Are library books really free? First of all, authors seldom donate their books to libraries. Libraries purchase their books. People support their libraries through paying fines, taxes, fund raising , etc. Books do represent thousands of hours and the soul and sweat of the author but then that one book creates even more hours of enjoyment, education, and community building. A library is not just a warehouse of free books. It is the home of the neighborhood, a place where dreams begin, students continue to learn, friendships are made and thrive – all because of the author’s book that is available there.

Books, articles, and even blogs like this one represent the best of us and yes, they are often overlooked as far as being considered a necessary purchase. The author of the complaint post felt this woman had overlooked all that went into writing. The value of the written word cannot be overstated but maybe we as authors need to recognize the value in the community our writings create and celebrate that value.

The complaining author mentioned the frequency with which people mindlessly spend their money at a coffeehouse yet deliberate weeks before buying a book. She implied one was a frivolous purchase while the buying of a book had real value. A hot beverage and bagel feeds my body just as a book feeds my mind and soul. Let’s stop making people take sides and celebrate the homogenous world both create and nourish.

A book or article or even a blog post is much more that words on a page. It is a ticket into the past and the future, a journey into emotions and possibilities, and most importantly, a way to honor the present day we live.

Maybe the woman with her arms full of “free” library books is from a culture that inhibited women or possibly grew up without the resources to purchase a book. Maybe she is living on a limited income. Maybe we need to be thankful she is reading at all and eager to share where someone else can find a book to read. The great thing about libraries is that they exist and within them, each book stands as an equal to all next to it.

What a world it would be if we all allowed others to stand as our equal next to us – united by our dreams and shared past on this planet as we move forward with eager anticipation into the next chapter, turning the page on judgment and moving forward with respect.

I adore libraries and all of my children had to volunteer at our local library. One child even made it her vocation in life and now works as the head of a department in a major library system. Books and libraries afford us the chance to learn and to dream. Most importantly, they reflect who we are and our hopes for tomorrow.

Never underestimate the power of the written word, please, but never devalue the efforts of those who make it possible. Next time you sit down for a cup of coffee, consider donating a book to your local library. The author and your neighbor will thank you.

Life Happens

Life Happens

Advent – 2021.12.10

Sometimes things don’t go like we had planned.  Maybe the car won’t start so you are late to that meeting.  Maybe the store was out of your secret ingredient for your holiday casserole.  Maybe you discovered that you thought you had scheduled a blog post only to discover there was a glitch in the system.  Maybe the power went off overnight and so your alarm didn’t go off.  Maybe you split coffee on your tie right before you walked out of the house.  None of these things were really your fault and yet, you are the one who has to make things right.  After all, life happens.

Several days ago we talked about how practice makes perfect.  The same is true when it comes to basic living.  We plan for the successes in life but it is the “oops!” and goofs that really build strength.  We seldom practice success; it is its own reward.  What we practice are the mistakes either we made or life just threw our way.  By practicing, we gradually overcome and learn.  We gain strength but also confidence to move ahead in life.  We feel we can take on another project, which comes with a new set of challenges.  Because they are new, these challenges come with their own set of mistakes.  And the process starts all over again.  Life happens,

As adults, we tend to overlook that learning process, the series of one step forward and two steps backwards that we all make.  The designation for this series on prayer is Advent because it falls at the end of the nonspiritual calendar year and the beginning of the Christian spiritual calendar.  Advent is a time of learning.  For the nonspiritual among us it is a time of reflection.  Television and radio programs are already having “End of the Year in Review’ programs, reflecting on what was and looking ahead to what will be.  For those celebrating Advent, it is a time to prepare with a wee bit of reflection thrown in.  It is a time to reflect on one’s spirituality, the good and the bad, and how to improve.  Life is not about standing still.

I recently took a class (a wonderful class) on spiritual practices.  I freely admit I signed up for it because of this series on prayer.  I thought it would be a great reference and the timeliness of the class offering made it a perfect fit.  I was certain such a class had to include praying.  I was wrong.  Life happens.  The class focused on the spirituality within each of us as we go about our daily livings.  It was less on the “churchy” things we tend to tack on to such things as prayer and more about the mundane everyday things we all have to do … or should do.  Instead of hearing someone talk about how to pray I heard about washing the dishes.  Was this an “Oops!” moment?

Trying to define prayer is both very easy and intrinsically complex.  The word spiritual is equally difficult to define.  If you remember, after presenting you with all the complex definitions of prayer, I summarized it down to one word – conversation.  I am certain each of us defines “spiritual” in our own way and we could go through a host of definitions.  To many people, it is synonymous with being religious but for others, it is a distinct and different approach to life than being religious.  For me, a spiritual life is a connected life.  I define spiritual as just that – connected.

The “Everyday Spiritual Practices” class I took was a great class but it did not discuss praying.  What it did discuss was being connected to our living, being present in the moment.  Coaches tell athletes that they need to be “present in the moment.”  What they are really saying is forget about that last pass you didn’t catch, the goal you didn’t make; live the play at hand.  It is great advice…in the moment.  Tomorrow, though, after the game is over, that same coach will spend all day going over the game and showing the players where they made their mistake.  That coach will point out where the player was supposed to turn so that he could have caught the ball or how distraction from a guard threw the passer off a bit so that a ball caught and then thrown was too far to the right to hit the basket.  Today they need to live in the moment to win the game but tomorrow they will live in the past to prepare for the future.

Such a habit of living and learning is great for sports but it doesn’t do much for our spiritual life and yes, even atheists have a spiritual life.  We all have a soul, a spirit within us.  We all exist and by existing, we are connected to other things and people.  Even the homeless are connected, maybe not to a structural house but to their own favorite place to sleep on the ground, their comfortable blanket or hat. 

For many people, prayer is a time of reflection and supplication, of reviewing like that coach the day after the game.  It can also be a time of asking for help or understanding.  Life can be very confusing and confounding.  Prayer is one way many people seek to find solace for their spirit or soul.

Spirituality is a very popular word these days, very trendy and often said in all the right places.  Bah humbug!  True spirituality is something that is felt and lived with very little talking involved.  For some, spirituality is a term they use to avoid in-depth retrospection.  For others, it is a curse to be avoided and for still some, it is a way to avoid the unpleasant truths about ourselves.  Not all spirituality can be good or have positive outcomes.

We all have what St Augustine called “ordo amoris”, an ordering of/for our loves.  In other words, we have things we love and we consequently place a priority on those things.  We also place a priority on the everyday mundane tasks that life requires; washing dishes, doing laundry, keeping the car in working order and filled with gas.  Few of us love doing those mundane tasks but they allow us to live and do what we do love or need to do.  Can these things possible be spiritual?  Are they a part of our prayer life?

Who are you?  What would you be without your personal “ordo amoris”?  At a Christmas Parade several weeks ago, the fabric of many lives was ripped apart as people went about doing rather mundane tasks.  Some were celebrating the season standing on the sidewalk at a parade; others were marching in the parade and having a great time.  In a matter of moments a destructive spirituality tore tens their lives apart.  The same thing happened a little with a school shooting.  How quickly their lives were torn; how quickly we felt their pain and the fear it created in our own lives.

None of us are born with a warranty tag attached under our arms or on the back of our necks.  Life happens.  The importance of prayer, that conversation we have with our faith as we live, keeps us sane and emphasizes our being connected.  Our spirituality, that which connects us to our universe and life, tells us we are alive.  Life happens and so, we need to live it.  It can be fun.  It can be scary.  It can be exhilarating.  It needs reflection and preparation.  It demands we are present in the moment.  Life happens and it is made easier when we can rely on our faith and prayer.