The Guilt of Missed Connections

The Guilt of Missed Connections

June 19, 2018

Pentecost 2018

 

Today I saw a neighbor at the local branch library.  She mentioned that the husband of another neighbor had passed away two months ago.  The couple in question had just purchased a house on our street and had not even moved in a great deal of furniture.  It was still very sad to think that we had all seen this woman walking her dog each morning and had never really connected.  If not for a family member who lived in the next block we would never had known of the death of her spouse, a man who had only visited their new home once since its purchase.

 

When is the last time you looked at your Facebook friends list?  I mean, really looked at it and thought about each name listed.  We all have those friends whose name does not ring a bell.  “Who is this?” we wonder.  “How did I become friends with them?”  I am as guilty as anyone else in sometimes answering a friend request in the affirmative just because… it is late or you vaguely recall someone by that name having been a coworker or perhaps a classmate from decades ago.

 

Recently a post came up from someone whose name I did not remember at all.  No inkling tickled my memory whatsoever.  Curious and with some time to spare, I clicked on their profile.  The post was not something with which I disagreed, quite the opposite in fact.  Still, I really expected I would have remembered someone so insightful and yet, I did not; hence, the clicking on their profile to try to remember who they were.

 

I saw that we had did indeed have some friends in common, friends with whom I had gone to school and so I quickly determined this had to be someone I had known although not as best of pals or anything.  Then a posting on their timeline caught my eye.  It went something like this:  Recently a neighbor caught my eye.  (This is in quotations but it is NOT an exact quote.)  “A slender, attractive neighbor attracted my attention yesterday and, emboldened by a twinkle in her eye, I ventured to start a conversation.”

 

The ensuing description of their first meeting was sweet and did indeed lead to other meetings.  My forgotten friend offered to help with some yardwork and carrying her groceries inside, favors which were rewarded by a banana or some chocolate chip cookies on a table by his front door mailbox.  The somewhat intimate and yet innocent activities took up an entire paragraph and were, as I’ve described before very sweet and touching.

 

You can understand then my surprise when the next paragraph began with my friend confessing how guilty he felt.  Instantly angered at some unknown act of treason against this woman, I was completely caught off guard by his next sentence.  “Here I had lived next door to this delightful and yet frail ninety-six-year-old woman without ever noticing her for several years.”

 

The posting about this neighbor went on to encourage us all to take note of the elderly around us.  My friend explained how most recently the woman contracted a cold and he was her only contact for several weeks with the outside world.  Her spouse was long deceased as were most of her friends.  Childless, she was living an almost invisible life… invisible that is until a neighbor happened to notice a brief smile and a twinkle in her eyes.

 

We all hurry through our lives when we need to stop and take stock of the world around us.  How many times have we passed by someone without noticing them?  How often do we hasten to explain how we are feeling or what we doing without asking about how a friend is doing?  How much energy and time would it take to share a smile with those we pass in our daily walk of life?  We all live on this planet together and if we ask others to share our lives, we should be willing to share theirs. 

 

We are all guilty of being ego-focused.  We need to recognize that the best life is one lived in harmony with not only nature but also each other and to do that, we must see them.  We need a line of sight that includes others, not just ourselves.  Then we will be open to the real beauty of the world and the ordinary of our environment will become extraordinary.

 

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Humanity Lost

Humanity Lost

June 18, 2018

Pentecost 2018

 

It was a Friday when Frederick Lewis Donaldson said the following in a sermon given at Westminster Abbey in London, England:  “The seven social sins are…wealth without work; pleasure without conscience; knowledge without character; commerce without morality; science without humanity; worship without sacrifice; politics without principle.” 

 

Most of us freely admit to being human and by that, we imply that we are not perfect.  Mistakes are going to be made and while we are better at forgiving our own than those of others, we do allow the possibility for their being made.  What about when society makes them?  How forgiving are we when it is a collective sin?  Do we still extend a sense of humanity to such?

 

 “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten how to belong to each other.”  These words from Mother Teresa might very well be the key to making this ordinary time extraordinary.  How we think of ourselves is reflected in how we treat others.  Truthfully, though, there is no “them” and “us”.  There is only “we”.

 

Recently a group of people identifying themselves as being patriotic to their own cultures and homelands came together for an experiment.    You can watch the results here and they are far more compelling than anything I could write.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyaEQEmt5ls

 

 

A Policy of Ubuntu

 

A Policy of Ubuntu

June 16, 2018

Pentecost 2018

  

Ubuntu is, for many younger adults and hipsters, just a software platform that helps them run programs on everything from a smart phone to a laptop or tablet.  It has gained popularity because it is free and a community driven operating system that encourages sharing.  Ubuntu is much more than that, however, and much older than any mechanical operating system.

 

Ubuntu came to the world stage in 1993 in 1993 when the negotiators of the South African Interim Constitution wrote: ‘there is a need for understanding but not for vengeance, a need for reparation but not for retaliation, a need for ubuntu but not for victimization.”  This passage in the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa, Act 200 of 1993: Epilogue after Section 251 was specifically addressing apartheid and the racial hierarchy and segregation that resulted from apartheid.

 

Ubuntu is a word common to several African cultures and each has its own way of defining it.  It is a humanist concept and even the Interim Constitution did not specifically define it.  Generally ubuntu refers to behaving well towards others or acting in ways that benefit the community. Such acts could be as simple as helping a stranger in need, or much more complex ways of relating with others. A person who behaves in these ways has ubuntu. He or she is a full person.  Bishop Desmond Tutu explained:  “My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up in what is yours”. 

 

There is a story that an anthropologist proposed a game while visiting a tribe in Africa.  He tied a basket of fruit to a nearby tree and then told the children of the tribe that whoever reached the tree first could have all the fruit.  The children quickly gathered hands and ran together.  Once they reached the tree they sat down in a circle and shared the fruit.  When asked why they did not elect to keep the fruit to themselves the anthropologist was told:  “Ubuntu!  How can one of us be happy if the rest are sad?”

 

Throughout history violence has been used as an answer.  It is not.  It is a cessation for a period of time but it solves no problem, just creates more.  No illnesses have ever been cured by violence.  No life-saving discoveries came from the firing of a weapon.  No bomb ever aimed created more beautiful life.

 

The story of the children sitting in a circle should be a metaphor for all of mankind living on this planet.  We may not seem to be sitting in a circle yet we live in a circle and what disastrous effects one experiences will eventually affect us all.

 

In 1995 the South African Constitutional Court ruled that ubuntu was important because “it was against the background of the loss of respect for human life and the inherent dignity which attaches to every person that a spontaneous call has arisen among section of the community for a return to ubuntu”.  The recent “(insert here your special group) Lives Matter” campaign is a modern day American version of a call to ubuntu.

 

All life matters.  In Zimbabwe the word for ubuntu is unhu. Unhu involves recognizing the humanity in another in order to have it in yourself.   All are respected and treated as one would wish to be treated and the concept has many rules of what many might consider etiquette or tribal law.  In Kinyarwanda, the mother tongue in Rwanda, and In Kirundi, the mother tongue in Burundi, ubuntu refers to human generosity and a spirit of humaneness or humanity.  Runyakitara is the collection of dialects spoken by the Banyankore, Banyoro, Batooro and Bakiga of Western Uganda and also the Bahaya, Banyambo and others of Northern Tanzania.  In these dialects “obuntu” refers to the human characteristics of generosity, consideration and humane-ness towards others in the community. Luganda is the dialect of Central Uganda and its “obuntu-bulamu” refers to the same characteristics.

 

Basically, though, if you ask someone on the African continent what ubuntu is they will say it means “I am because we are.”  Many Americans are experiencing much misery over recent policies requiring children be separated from their families because of their legal immigration status or lack thereof and we all have felt sad.  The time has come, though, to dry our tears and respond with humanity and positive action.  The world needs our generosity and kind treatment of others. 

 

Such policies assume that the world can be divided into “them” and “us”.  It cannot.  While evil is calling for more terror, we need to send out a call for ubuntu, for kindness, for respect, for love, for life.  Only ubuntu can make this ordinary time of Pentecost extraordinary.  Only by living ubuntu will humanity defeat evil. Only when we realize that we truly are all brothers and sisters in the family of man and treat each other respectfully will the future be made possible for us all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Profitable Treasure Hunt

A Profitable Treasure Hunt

June 12, 2018

Pentecost 2018

 

Going to school and writing papers has never been easier with the availability of research options that can be found on the Internet.    Many of us spend the minutes playing a game on our smart phones or tablets.  Why not use that time to raise money for a great charity?

 

SEO is a term you have seen if you spend any time on the Internet.  It is an acronym that stands for Search Engine Optimization or the fastest way to find something.  Anyone who has used the Internet has probably utilized an SEO at some point.  In fact, unless you only open your Internet browser when you have the website address you are going to, you have used an SEO.  Some of the more common ones are Google, Yahoo, Bing….”Oh, yeah, I’ve done that” you’re thinking.

 

Search Engines make money by showing advertisements on either the left or right side of the webpage.  They then donate at least thirty to seventy percent of the advertising revenue to a specific charity.  Revenue is generated when someone clicks on the advertisement.  So you can sit back on your public transportation or car pool and search while you help a charity fill their coffers, making optimal use of your commute and feeling good about yourself.  Talk about a win-win situation!  The following are just a few of the search engines that donate money to charitable organizations. 

 

Sleio is a search engine that will let you designate which charity you would like to assist or, in other words, you get pick that they will donate the revenue you generate by click on the advertisement.  Some of their options are UNICEF and Khan Academy but there are others.

 

Ecosia is a website search engine that promotes tree planting in Brazil with eighty percent of ad revenue being donated.  By mid-2014 over two hundred thousand users had donated over six hundred thousand trees that were planted in Brazil. 

 

Everyclick is a great SEO for Anglophiles because it allows those who click to assist over two hundred thousand charities in the United Kingdom.  Simply Do Good is both a search and a shopping website that assists over one hundred thousand schools and nonprofits.  Helpuu is a Google-powered “helping website” that donates money to such charities as Feed the Children and the American Red Cross.

 

Envirosearch.org not only lets you search but also save the planet in your searching.  Just Go Search is a Yahoo search engine that donates its revenue to charities in the United Kingdom.  Freelanthropy is another Yahoo-powered SEO that shares its advertising revenue with schools, churches, shelters, scouts, environmental causes, and other nonprofits.  The Ronald McDonald House Charities are just one of the helping charities that benefits from this search engine.

 

We all look for things.  It is part of human nature to be curious.  We all also usually spend time waiting, whether it is on a commute or in a doctor’s office, train station, airport or maybe just waiting for someone to get ready to go out.  Who knew you could look for the best price on a new outfit and at the same time help provide a meal to a hungry child?  Make that search count for something and help good working charities obtain the funding they need by using one of these SEO’s.    Your looking online can mean the world, or at least a meal or a new pair of shoes, to a hungry child.

 

 

Surviving Life’s Detours

Surviving Life’s Detours

June 6, 2018

Pentecost 2018

 

It was Valentine’s Day – a day in which thoughts turn to love and fancy.  Teenagers arrived at school thinking more about the date than homework assignments.  Within three hours they would be literally running for their lives.  March 8, 2018 parents in another Florida school district received word that their school had averted a similar threat/attack in 2017, thanks to the diligence of a teacher’s spouse and the relationship between teachers and students that led to students informing on the two young men planning the attack.

 

It was a fun-filled, talent-delightful concert directed towards the teenagers in life.  It ended with screams and panic as concert goers prepared to leave the venue after a pop music concert in Manchester, England.  Less than two weeks later, Londoners and tourists alike strolled across the London Bridge, many only to find themselves in the hospital after being struck deliberately by an out-of-control, speeding van.  The three van drivers then fled the scene of mayhem they had created only to run into a restaurant and attempt to kill even more.

 

Life is messy and there are those who have decided their life’s purpose is to perpetuate that messiness and chaos.  Even if it is not something that will make the evening news, our lives have their detours.  For this season of Pentecost, we will discuss dealing with such and, hopefully, find a way to navigate the detours of life.

 

“Le vrai est trop simple, il faut y arriver toujours par le compliqué.”  This translates as “The truth is too simple: one must always get there by a complicated route.”  It was written in a letter to Armand Barbès on 12 May 1867 by George Sand.   I would dearly love to tell you this statement is false but I cannot; there is a great deal of truth within it.

 

This very post is a perfect example of a detour in life.  Between the  school shootings, over fifteen in the US during 2017, the suicide bombing at the concert in Manchester and those killed/injured in London, I really doubted writing about this topic.  And yet, in some ways it seemed more important than ever.  Today, though, is an important anniversary and we must continue to fight for freedom and right to honor that anniversary.

 

The morning of June 6, 1944 marked the largest amphibious military assault the world had ever seen. More than 160,000 American, British and Canadian troops battled their way along a 50-mile stretch of beach in Normandy, France to give the Allies a foothold in Nazi-occupied western Europe and a path to victory in World War II.  A massive airborne operation preceded the Allied amphibious invasion of the Normandy beaches. In the early hours of June 6, 1944, several hours prior to troops landing on the beaches, over 13,000 elite paratroopers of the American 82nd and 101st Airborne Divisions, as well as several thousand from the British 6th Airborne Division were dropped at night by over 1,200 aircraft. Almost 4,000 more paratroopers would later be brought in by gliders, known as Waco Gliders, during daylight hours. In total 23,000 paratroopers and glider troops would be used in Normandy. 

 

Many died during the events of this day, all which began with three words from General Dwight Eisenhower:  “Okay, let’s go!”  Millions had perished in the years leading up to this day.  Some were killed simply for being alive; others in the throes of battle.  War is chaotic.  During World War II, most of the inhabitants of planet earth had their lives affected in one way or another.  The end result was more about surviving life than in acquiring land or wealth.

 

“Odd, how life makes twists and turns. I never would have guessed that I’d end up where I am now, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I wouldn’t trade this path I’m on for the whole solar system, for that matter. If I’ve learned anything these last several months, it’s that sometimes the most scenic roads in life are the detours you didn’t mean to take.”  This sentence by Angela N. Blount in her “Once Upon an Ever After” is how I hope we all begin to approach the detours in our living. 

 

Most of us, fortunately, will never have such a dramatic detour in our effort to survive life.  Still, we do face our own trials and turmoil, unexpected detours that life throws at us.  The truth remains that every detour brings its own amount of stress.  “We all have detours in life.  It is up to us to turn our detour into a pilgrimage of hope,” writes Lisa Copen.   If we take a new perspective on these detours, we might just enjoy the scenery and experience.   We cannot only survive life’s curves and detours  but ride them to victory.

Similarities

Similarities

June 5, 2018

Pentecost 2018

 

Founded in the mid-3rd century B.C.E., Berenike was a thriving Roman port on the Egyptian Red Sea. Artifacts prove that the Romans traded with lands we now call Yemen, Pakistan, India and peppercorns were worth more in their weight than was gold. Emeralds and gold, spices… the list of treasures is lengthy. 

 

To me, though, it is a rolled up piece of papyrus that is the real treasure. Berenike was a place where more than eleven different languages were spoken, where different cultures meshed in harmony. And on the rolled up papyrus is a clue as to the key to such harmony. People are people – no matter the dress, the ethnic physical characteristics.  We really are the same.

 

On that rolled up piece of papyrus was written a letter…. from a mother to her trading sailor son. “You never visit. It has been too long since we have seen you.  You owe your mother a loving visit so I can see you are well.”

 

The word that unites us is respect.  This mother wanted some respect from her son.  Our neighbors want respect from us.  We want respect from the world.  No matter the country or century, we really are one.

 

You Can Make a Difference!

You Can Make a Difference!

June 2, 2018

Pentecost 2018

 

Recently a great deal of the rhetoric prominent in social media has been about “I”.  One person claims to have all the answers while another says they acted or voted to protect themselves.  The ego or “I” is the conscious self so it is not unnatural that we would consider it in most things.  The problem is that the “I” is not the only living entity on the planet.  There is also a “You” and “We”. 

 

The word affect is a verb, grammatically speaking, in the English language.  Basically it means to have an impact on something or someone.  In writing this blog I am hoping to affect your thinking and encourage you to do something positive to benefit all of us, the family of mankind.  Since a verb is an action word, to affect something or someone is to bring about change.

 

Effect is most commonly used as a noun, the result of an action or, as we just discussed, a thought process.  While the purpose of this blog is to encourage you think and then affect someone by positive action, the intent is the end result –  that your actions will create a productive effect or result.  “Affect” refers to the doing; “Effect” denotes the end result of that doing or action. 

 

Effect also can be defined in another way.  It can also mean someone’s personal belongings.  This might seem confusing and yes, it can be.   Personally, I like that effect is both the result and the possession.  It encourages us to be accountable for our actions.  No one is going to score a perfect rating on our actions.  We all make mistakes.  This is where thinking positive can keep us from letting past actions become a future death sentence.  Thinking positive people also have lower blood pressure and sleep better.

 

Earlier this week someone exercised what they felt was their right to free speech by, without any cause or pertinence to the speaker’s daily living, insulting someone else.  It was done supposedly in a humorous vein but resulted in quite a backlash.    While language can be a bit confusing, an insult is generally always understand to be just that – a rude, offensive slur about someone.  It is, quite simply, verbal abuse.

 

Today the first step you should take is to think positively.  Negative thinking narrows one’s field of vision.  Imagine yourself swimming in the shallow waters of a beautiful ocean resort.  Suddenly someone cries “Shark!”  You no longer are focused on the rest of the people on the beach but only on getting yourself out of the water.  This is a healthy instinct of self-preservation but your focus has also become extremely self-centered. 

 

Positive emotions help us to broaden our field of vision and imagine what is possible instead of seeing only the negative and dire outcomes.  Maybe yesterday really was the worst day of life.  Today really can be the first day of the rest of your life.  Take care of yourself and start the day off thinking of possibilities.  Share a smile with another and together you will create something extraordinary out of an ordinary facial movement.   Maybe you really don’t have time for going to the movies but take the time hurrying on your commute to notice the flowers along your path.  A healthy person can accomplish much more than one who is thinking or feeling negative.  We all have time for a smile and the first smile of the day should be a smile to you.

 

Living positively benefits the “I” and also the “We”.  To make the most of living and do what is best for “You” involves helping another.  The time for talk is over.  It is now time for action.   As Walt Whitman once said, “If you keep your face towards the sunshine, the shadows will fall behind you.”  With one ordinary affect, you will create an extraordinary effect and make the world a much better place for all of us.